Lina21

Golden Sun (LT)
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Jul 18, 2014
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#1
Generally speaking I spend a lot of time alone, and generally speaking I spend this time in silence.
I don't listen to music when I drive, I don't wear earphones when I'm working, I don't have a TV playing in the background when I'm at home etc.

Being in such a state (almost) continuously, I have random memories coming forth suddenly. Without something having triggered their appearance.
What "troubles" me lately is :
1. the randomness of these memories. I mean... totally irrelevant incidents from 10, 15, 20 years ago that also seem completely unimportant, and
2. the persistence of certain memories, that keep popping again and again.

Having contemplated on that, and while trying to answer the question "why the hell did I remember that now, and why the hell it's coming forth again and again", I made a very important connection.

We remember things that have had a strong emotional connection when they happened.
Good memories, bad memories, neutral ; it doesn't matter.
What matters is the emotion that was present during that incident.
So it's not the question of "why did I remember that particular instance", but "what is the emotion associated with that instance, that is so strong that makes it coming forth to my face, at this particular phase in my life".

If you look at it through this perspective, everything changes.
And then you have right there in front of you the issues that your Self is begging to resolve, heal and hence move forward,

If we are living in a constant chatter, with the radio, the TV, the people around talking, talking on the phone, reading books, reading anything, being occupied in any possible way that "safely" disconnects us from this inner dialogue, then it is the equivalent of shoving stuff under the rug.

And I can't but think of the ultimate meditation, the "empty your mind".
Yes, I agree, It's a bliss.
But how to do it?
By teaching your brain to not think? To suppress the thought or memory and force it away? To let it pass without having it "touch" you, as if it's such an inferior entity to deal with? Shoving stuff under the rug again.
How about honoring this memory, and let it speak to you? Letting you wounded Self tell its story of abandonment, inferiority, fear, neglect, rejection?
Because when you make connection with your emotion, truly listen, feel and acknowledge it, then magically the issue is resolved, you heal and move on.

And so the memory will have served its purpose, the emotional charge will have been dissolved, and it doesn't need to pop again.
And then the next one, and the next one, and the next one.
If you do this everyday hard work (because it is hard), then more and more you naturally move to an "empty your mind" state of being.

The importance of being alone in silence.
 

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