Myself

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#1
When I asked myself the question, do I trust others, I got the answer no. When I then asked myself, well, ok, You don't trust people now, but do you know how to trust others? And frankly I don't really know how to trust others.

Logically I would say, this here, asking the question how all of you give your trust to others, is a form of trust, and sharing this is a forum of trust. I'm slowly starting to realise that the lack of trust I give to others, is fueling my loneliness. I trust myself, enough to deal with these issues, to trust that those issues that I want to deal are worth dealing with and to go and ask for help, half of the time atleast.

So, what are ways that you share your trust with others?

In the past I've tried horseback riding, because it's all about trusting the horse but I noticed that it was difficult for me to do so, wanting to be in control. I've also spoke with people about the issues I'm working with, but at the same time I didn't share what I felt about it, so despite sharing personal stuff I didn't share THE personal stuff.

I'm curious to find out what ways there are to give my trust to others.
 

Andrea

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#2
I find that the way we feel/think/relate to others is always a mirror of how we feel/think/relate to ourselves..

So in that light, in order to not trust others there must be some ways in which we not trust ourselves fully.

For me it is for example that I know I have a history of abandoning myself for other people. I focus so much on them that I'm not fully there for myself anymore. But now I'm trying to remember to be on my own side first and foremost, and learning to trust myself more, which leads to trusting other people as well because I know now (more and more) that I wont put myself in a situation where I get hurt anymore, or if it happens I will take care of me and be there for myself.
 

Myself

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#3
Well, for me it's mainly that I'm getting tired of not being able to trust others. That for each and every little thing that I want to do, having a conversation, asking a question, asking someone out, that I have to run it past myself dozens if not hundreds of time if I should do it or not and why I shouldn't and it's just frustrating the s**t out of me.

I've stopped with the whole questioning of "Why is it so darn difficult for me?" because I know I won't ever find the answer satisfying enough to get rid of the issue entirely, so instead I'd rather want to ask what can I do to negate said issue.
 

Myself

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#5
Most of it comes down to not having done much in terms of social interactions and thus feeling like, I'm missing out on 10-15 years of social experience. Like, I should know those things already despite not knowing them.
 

Jeannie

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#8
Hi Niek,
I am not sure; it's not my initial thought of your question but somehow came out of my meditation. And I think it's a good idea that volunteering may help you to gain experiences of social interactions (with people of different ages and social levels)
My first thought is that the sense of distrust (or insecurity) might have come from an early stage of life, from other people (like the parents), or your past lives; maybe you can find the cause by exploring your subconscious.
 

Albina

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#9
Hi Myself!
Regarding your perceived issue that frustrates you about decisions . Leave decisions aside for a while,
what about conseqences ( maybe punishment?, selfpunisment, selfjudgment to keep your identity- I am indecisive, unable , bla bla bla) I mean you can decide one thing or another or another, but what are you thinking will be consequences on taking actions on those decisions? (Also if you can't forgive yourself making" wrong" decisions , can you forgive others? If you can forgive others, why not yourself?)
 

Lina21

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#10
As above, so below.

How about the Trust?
Do you trust that someone has your back? That everything is at perfect balance at any given moment? That you have guidance?
Do you trust that the Universe is a safe place? Do you trust that God knows what (s)he is doing?

I will make an analogy here.
When we are children, if we don't get love from our mother, we spend the rest of our lives looking for that love in other people (partners mainly) - aka Citizen Kane-.
But it's a never ending chase in a maze, because what we truly want is the lost love from our mother, and absolutely no-one can give it, but the mother herself.
In these cases we have to acknowledge the fact of the lost love and stop looking for it in all the wrong places.
And turn within. It will have to be us the ones who will give us this love.
And how we even know from the first place this "crazy little thing called love"?
Because it's is a scale down from an octave (or a few octaves) above.
The archetype originates from God --> the Love.
So even better, we can go straight to the source. The Source.
Because at the end of the day, what are the biological parents? A scale down of something (Earth-Sun for example), which in turn is a scale down from something else, which is a scale down from another something else etc., until we reach to God.
FRACTALS.

Same thing with trust, and every other feeling/energy I guess.
Trust issues because of whatever the reason is?
Go straight to the Source and get it from there.
And then you can give it --> scale down.
 

Annie Sugarpuff

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#11
Hi Niek,

It's a great question. I sense strongly your frustration and impatience. I sense you want it yesterday :) Sometimes trust is born out of patience.

We share our trust with others (and God) all the time. You walk in the street. You trust that drivers are driving safely. You trust that people that walk past you are good. You trust that shop-keepers are fair. You trust that your landlord will allow you to stay in the building. The more you focus on trusting and break it down and affirm that you are trusting, then the more you will do it...

I think over my life I have gone up and down the trust scale. In retrospect, I have been too trusting sometimes and at others not trusting enough. It is a learning experience. You just need to experience. Keep trying. Keep doing. Keep learning.

It's all good.

I love your new profile picture!

Much love
 

Myself

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#12
I've calmed a bit down in the past few days, yesterday especially and that allows me to see past the haze and fog and frustration and it's not all bad. Yes, I'm slow to trust but I also share a lot more now then I've done a year ago. So there certainly has been a growth in trusting others.

I'm not scared to make mistakes as long as I know that I'll be told what I did wrong or perhaps could do differently, because then I can do something about it. I don't like it when the finger is pointed at me and I don't even know what I did wrong. Because I might be doing something correct but then people still don't like it, and that makes me confused, a lot.

I have done volunteer work but there's a distinct difference in talking to someone because it's my "job" and talking to someone because I want to get to know that person. I'm just gonna take a whole set of deep breaths for now because the calm that I feel now is much nicer then all that frustration and stress.
 

Annie Sugarpuff

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#13
I've calmed a bit down in the past few days, yesterday especially and that allows me to see past the haze and fog and frustration and it's not all bad. Yes, I'm slow to trust but I also share a lot more now then I've done a year ago. So there certainly has been a growth in trusting others.

I'm not scared to make mistakes as long as I know that I'll be told what I did wrong or perhaps could do differently, because then I can do something about it. I don't like it when the finger is pointed at me and I don't even know what I did wrong. Because I might be doing something correct but then people still don't like it, and that makes me confused, a lot.

I have done volunteer work but there's a distinct difference in talking to someone because it's my "job" and talking to someone because I want to get to know that person. I'm just gonna take a whole set of deep breaths for now because the calm that I feel now is much nicer then all that frustration and stress.
:thumbsup: ;) :) :love:

Glad that you are chilling about it Niek.

Remember: you are more wonderful every day :thumbsup:
 
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#14
This post is almost two months old, I hope it's still okay for me to comment here.

Anyway, just wanted to say that I feel exactly the same way about trusting others and myself. I always had a hard time asking people for help, or even show them that I don't totally understand what they just said and ask them a question. At first I thought I'm a shy person, but later I realized that deep inside I don't trust others. Dowsing courses with Cha-zay further helped me to understand what is trust and how much I don't trust others and myself (especially my Higher Self). Your words about the unnecessary need to have everything under control resonate with me.

What helps me to deal with this is reading the book "The Aladdin Factor" by Jack Canfield - he addresses this lack of trust issue and he proposes several ways to deal with it. Cha-zay's EFT course, as well as the Advanced Dowsing courses help me a lot too. I often tap for insecurities, fears and other stuff that prevent me from trusting others and my Higher Self. I'm still new to all of this, but so far I am loving the results- I feel more comfortable talking to people who I consider complicated or "dangerous". Helps me to deal with betrayal-related stress too.
 

Myself

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#15
There are so many things I've tried to feel more comfortable trusting people. I even went horseback riding for a while since it's all about putting your trust in the horse, since it's 90% the horse and 10% the rider. That didn't work out so well, nothing bad but it seemed the horse didn't really trusted me, because I didn't trust him.

When it comes to people I've come to accept that trust is more than just a saying. It's also an emotion or a feeling. Feeling comfortable around someone and having the energy in my heart swirl around more often than not leads to me talking about things that bother me. There are also moments where I just say what is on my mind, or rather, say the things that don't get filtered by mind.

It's been 2 and a half years since your reply Sergey, and I feel that I've made some significant progress in the area. I hope that you've also gained a lot of progress and insight into your trusting issues.
 

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